Tiger Woods is lost, in each verbatim and incongruous way

2:25 PM ET

No, a Tiger Woods we met in that Jupiter, Florida, military news is not a Tiger Woods presented to we by Tiger, his sponsors and his reps. That Woods was a new and softened tellurian being given his extramarital sex liaison from hell, a improved father and friend, with or but golf in his life.

This Woods was found defunct in his shop-worn Mercedes in a passed of night, with his stop lights on, his right blinker flashing, his bumpers banged up, and his dual driver-side tires flat. He could have incidentally killed himself. He could have incidentally killed a ideally trusting engineer or walking who happened to be on a wrong travel during a wrong time.

The good news? Woods had his chair belt fastened. The bad news? He was mislaid in each verbatim and incongruous way.

“Woods settled that he did not know where he was,” the military news said.

It’s substantially a many honest thing Tiger told a officers on a scene.

Tiger found defunct during wheel, blew 0.00 on test

The military had to arise adult Tiger Woods when they approached his using car before to impediment him on a DUI assign early Monday morning, according to a military report.

  • Tiger Woods DUI Investigation Report

    The Jupiter, Florida, Police Department’s Investigation/Incident news on Tiger Woods’ May 29, 2017 detain on a DUI charge.

  • The latest Tiger Woods news is only plain sad

    For a chairman as private as Tiger Woods, another open chagrin after his detain Monday will certainly haunt a 14-time vital champion.

  • The military pronounced he told them he had been personification golf in Los Angeles, and afterwards altered his story. Woods’ debate was described as “extremely delayed and slurred, mumbled, confused,” and his opinion was described as “sluggish, sleepy, incompetent to travel alone.” The news pronounced he couldn’t put his heel to toe in a walk-and-turn test, that he didn’t lift his leg 6 inches in a one-leg station test, and that he did not lapse his arms to his side in a finger-to-nose test. Asked if he accepted a instructions concerned in a Romberg alphabet test, a news settled Woods primarily responded, “Yes, recite whole inhabitant anthem backwards,” before eventually completing a charge correctly.

    Woods blew a 0.00 on his exhale test, subsidy adult his Monday night matter that ethanol wasn’t concerned in his DUI arrest. But he told military he was holding several prescribed medications, and after in that same matter apologized for control he attributed to an “unexpected reaction” to those medications.

    Just as in 2009, during a opening of his sex scandal, Woods has again reduced himself to a tellurian piñata on amicable media. On a luminary scale, his mop shot ranks somewhere between Nick Nolte’s and James Brown’s (you can Google them). And a subsequent time Tiger tees it adult on a golf march — presumption there is a subsequent time — it’s expected that a same male who shouts all those hopelessly irritating things on hit will try to sing a line or dual from a inhabitant anthem … backward, of course.

    Woods was forward as a top-ranked golfer in a universe (too many mistresses to count), and now he has proven forward as a 876th-ranked golfer in a world. (How can a male concede himself to get behind a circle in that state of mind, during that time in a morning?) In other words, he has told us he is reckless, either he’s winning his competition or in too many pain from his behind surgeries to play even 9 rival holes.

    Truth is, Woods has never authorised himself to be an easy chairman to like, inside or outward a locker room. He done roughly no try to bond with a fans who but precious him while he towering golf to a place it has never been. Even when he emerged from a blue screen in Feb 2010 to apologize for his sequence infidelity and what he called “my insane and greedy behavior,” Woods had a insolence to harangue a news media on a coverage of his indiscretions.

    On some level, that’s OK. We as a multitude make exceptions for a biggest of a great, and it seems that geniuses of all shapes and sizes, from Tiger Woods to Steve Jobs, mostly act like a seven-letter word that starts with “a” and ends with “e.”

    And make no mistake: Woods was a legitimate genius. He cowed an resolute game, maybe a hardest diversion in a universe to be unequivocally good at. In covering sports for some-more than 30 years, and in examination them for 45, I’ve never seen anyone or anything some-more towering than Woods in movement in his prime. What he did with a golf round was some-more amazing, to this set of eyes, than a acrobatic things Michael Jordan did with a basketball in midflight.

    More than anything, I’d unequivocally like to see Woods get healthy and whole for a consequence of his dual children. He knows firsthand a significance of a clever father figure in a kid’s life, and he hasn’t been a same chairman given his possess father, Earl, died in 2006. I’d like to see Tiger get healthy and whole for greedy reasons, too. Maybe this is what happens when we get a small comparison and a small wiser. You wish we had a do-over, or a mulligan, on certain moments in life only for a possibility to conclude them some-more than we did a initial time around.

    I suspicion I’d get to see Woods win 20 to 25 majors, and so did Jack Nicklaus, a record hilt with 18, and only about each other golf fan who was profitable attention. we never suspicion Tiger would finish adult stranded on 14, and that a rest of us would be stranded right there with him for a past 9 years.

    Yet here we are with Woods in a center of another wretched disaster of his possess design. Some are reveling a bit in his latest downfall, and maybe that’s a cost Tiger has to compensate for wearing that invisible nonetheless unequivocally transparent “Do Not Disturb” pointer around his neck while apropos a world’s many tangible athlete.

    But we all get into a business of examination and caring about sports for a elementary reason: We wish to see athletes do things physically that were once suspicion impossible. Their regard and munificence of suggestion along a approach is merely a bonus, not a prerequisite.

    So yeah, I’d like to see Woods find his approach home earlier rather than later. So what if he has spent many of his career as a taker instead of a giver. we only wish to entirely conclude a artist during work one final time, in one final tournament, on one final Sunday.

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